Do you ever wish you could question an omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient being, and actually get a response?

Wouldn't it be good to know the answers to some of life's more fundamental questions, such as "Why is there pain and suffering in the world?", “Why are there so many different religions?” or "Why is Justin Bieber such a cunt?"

Well now you can!


Jesus Drinks

I am Jesus (the creator of everything), and I now have my own website (again, created by me). With so many people constantly asking me stuff in prayer, I often have to turn to drink to get through the day. It all gets a bit much.


People always seem to ask the same old crap over and over... "Jesus, why do children die of bone cancer?" or "Jesus, is homosexuality really a sin?", etc. On top of that, a lot of people seem to think some of my decisions, rules and creations have been, well, "questionable" to say the least. I have never bothered responding to anyone... until now!


I thought I would make a website that can act as a kind of repository of the greatest answers known to mankind, where all of life's big questions will be answered once and for all. Maybe when it is complete, I can spend more time on the really important stuff in the universe... like helping footballers win championships, or singers win Grammys.


On my awesome website you can:


View Questions other people have asked.

 Ask Questions that you would like me to answer (more information and submission guidelines).

 Answer Questions yourself in my entertaining quiz game.


Have fun asking and answering some of the fundamental questions of life! :)

Best wishes,





*Disclaimer - all questions and quizzes are just for fun. Please be aware that some questions may be considered offensive, and that right and wrong answers are subjective. Answers are not to be viewed as guidance. Any resemblance to persons, living, dead, or completely fictitious, is purely coincidental. If you are worried at all about any of this, please seek independent medical advice :)